Dads Love Lasts

How to Close the Relationship Gap
to Leave a Lasting Legacy

If you are a successful CEO or other busy leader who wants a better relationship with your children, then this book is for you. In it, I give you resources, strategies and actions. You will find out how to balance your various commitments to enjoy a quality relationship with your children. If you do not do this, your legacy will be in danger and you will have regrets when your business no longer needs you.

Do you feel that your success is causing you to miss important aspects of your children's life?
Do you ever look at your children and feel that you're looking at strangers?
Do you ever wish that you could be as successful in your relationship with your children as you are successful at work?
Is time running out for you to get to know your children before they leave you?
Do you feel that your children will not uphold your values and honor your legacy?
Would you like to be comfortable and at ease when you are with your children?
Would you like to safeguard your legacy?

The Case of the Missing Dad

She was lost. I could see it. A young girl with great potential, trying to fit in. You see, her father was no longer present in her life. And he had left her with a void that left her feeling she would never be good enough. As she grew, she made choices that pulled her from fulfilling her potential.

After disappointing relationships, she ended up in an abusive marriage. You see, she was looking for the love she was not getting from her father. He was still alive but had withdrawn his presence and, as she understood it, his love. “If dad is not involved, he no longer loves me,” was what she thought. “Something must be wrong with me.” Now, she never felt good enough. It showed in her behavior and choices of boyfriends and husband. At one level she knew what was happening to her, but what else was there?

Dad, your presence has a bigger impact on your children than you can imagine. It doesn’t matter how much you do for them materially. Without your presence, your active involvement in their lives, they will assume that you do not love them and attach no value to the things you give. Additionally, they will look for love in all kinds of places and possibly end up broken. Is that what you want?

What Makes Dads Love Last?

Dads occupy a special place in a child’s life. When you are present, that is involved, supportive and loving, your children revel in it. They gain confidence. The memories you make with them will outlast you, bringing joy and adding strength to you all. Thus, it is about you engaging with your children appropriately. It is you providing lasting memories, instilling values by your actions and words, as well as teaching them the value of what you give them. It is you working this out based on your unique self and circumstances.

You’re Worth It

An interesting thing happens in our lives. We set goals and move in pursuit of them. As we go along, we get absorbed in our ventures as we work to achieve these goals. Sometimes, we move the goal post, stretching ourselves even further. Along the way, we leave things behind. Here is why: we’re human. As such, we can’t do and be everything. Unfortunately, sometimes we leave ourselves behind. When this happens, work becomes what defines us. That’s a problem.

When work defines us, we lose sight of our intrinsic self and with that, our self worth. We value ourselves based on what we do, what we have and how others perceive us. This makes it harder for us to establish relationships outside of work. Between the time it takes to achieve our goals and the loss of ourselves, children get left behind. Is this you?

It’s time to realize that you are worth more. As a matter of fact, you are worth giving yourself the gift of time with your children because you are more than your job and possessions; more than anything that you can give them. That’s a part of what we’ll look at in this book.

This book is focused on you. I’m giving you what you need to connect with your children to leave a lasting legacy of love. It starts with you. First, I recognize that as you have pursued your goals, you have acquired skills that are valuable in building relationships with your children. You’ll be able to identify these. Then, I will focus on how you get back in touch with what makes you precious and unique outside of the roles you play. We end with practical strategies and actions to close the relationship gap. My goal is to give you the gift of a beautiful relationship with your children. You are worth it.

Dr. Claire shares a powerful gift of wisdom for fathers everywhere in her latest book, Dad’s Love Lasts. Her clear and practical guidance for balancing the demands of family, careers and life have been proven in my experience as a parent.

Bishop Warner H. Brown, Jr
The United Methodist Church
CEO, Impactful Teams, LLC

It’s In Your Hands

Even though the worlds may seem far apart, your success as a CEO or other busy leader has given you the resources that you need to be a present dad who closes the relationship gap with your children. It’s time to identify these as you connect your worlds – business, community involvement, and children. You are one person and you are best served when you live an integrated life.

Unmask

What have you given up to get to where you are? Which aspects of yourself have you had to bury in order to make it? These are important questions. As part of the movement to close the gap with your children, who you are intrinsically and your intrinsic value got covered over in your drive to a better future. This has helped to feed the relationship gap. It’s time to unmask and reveal your true self so that you love and relate from an authentic place.

Mind the Gap

What exactly is this relationship gap? For starters, it is not the natural difference that exists between you and your children. It has to do with your absence from or average involvement in their lives. Seeing that you can’t fix what you don’t understand, we’ll explore this gap in detail — what it is, how it forms, what its consequences are.

In the Gap

Moving to fix the relationship gap is a process. Part of this process is standing in it the gap. What does this mean and how do you do it? That’s what you’ll explore. There is more than one way of standing in the gap. In addition, there are four critical factors that are part of standing in the gap. These will allow you close it.

Close the Gap

It’s time to close the gap. It’s not hard. It simply requires your commitment and application of the resources and strategies you get in this book. They are designed with you in mind. As you close the relationship gap, you will close the legacy gap. This is so because your children will now be connected with you and by extension, connected with your legacy. There will be mutual value and honor. Your life will be filled with beauty and joy.

My Promise

You will get a clear path to close the relationship gap with your children and leave a lasting legacy of love. This book is easy to read. It is centered around the story of Mark, a CEO, who is a relatable character. At the beginning of the book, Mark is estranged from his children. At the end, he has made significant strides to close the gap. As you follow his journey and embrace yours, you too will remove the distance between you and your children.

Dads Love Lasts uses a thought-provoking fable of a struggling father and his two children to encourage the reader to build a positive, intentional relationship with their children. Claire’s book tells the story with simplicity, common sense, and wisdom – mixed with a bit of spiritual guidance. The reality is that your relationship with your children will leave a legacy. It is your choice whether that legacy will be good or bad. Claire inspires the reader to build a positive legacy by applying the same vision, communication, drive, strategy and innovation that make businesses and organizations successful.

Mike Armstrong
General Manager Water One

FAQ’S

I'm busy. Will this work for me?

How important to you are your children and your legacy? This is the real question. The book itself is an easy read. The steps you need to take are simple. However, I’ll be honest with you. You will have to make some changes. You will have to give something.

I'm a single dad. Is this for me?

Yes. It addresses issues that are particular to single dads, although dads who are together with their spouse or partner will also benefit from it.

I already have a good relationship with my children. What now?

Congratulations on cultivating a good relationship with your children. This book will enhance what you are already doing.

My children are small. Do I need this?

It is true that the children in the book are in their teens. However, using this now will ensure that you have a good foundation and avoid some pitfalls as you advance in your career.

About the Author

Claire Annelise Smith, Phd (Dr. Claire), is the owner of Blazing Star Network, a Professional Training and Spiritual Coaching firm. She has a variety of experiences in different cultural contexts. She is author of multiple books and publications.

As a spiritual mentor and coach, Dr. Claire helps busy CEO’s and
others in executive leadership positions who are dads have better
relationships with their children to leave a lasting legacy of love.

Website: strategiclifestyle.co/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/claireasmith

Twitter: twitter.com/ClaireAnnSmith