3 Reasons Why You Should Not Go it Alone as a Dad
“I have seen that in any great undertaking it is not enough for a man to depend simply upon himself,” (Lone Man [Isna-la-wica] Teton Sioux). Being a dad is a great undertaking. Why would you do it alone?
#1 Extended Wisdom and Knowledge
Think about it. In your work life, you involve and depend on teams and committees, boards and task forces, and of course, your workers and coworkers. Why? For starters, you want the collective wisdom that comes when everyone is involved. You gain more insight than if you tried to figure everything out by yourself. Other people bring different perspectives arising from their life and work experiences, etc. Someone sees something you did not see. Others know things you do not.
Being a dad requires wisdom. Previous generations have accumulated knowledge and wisdom
based on their experience, upon which you can and should draw. You can also draw upon research that gives you insight into who you are, your children, and your role as a father. In addition, gathering with your peers allows you to bounce ideas off each other and learn from your common experience. When you gather, someone will see something you missed and vice versa. You gain wisdom and knowledge.
#2 Sharing the Load or Going Alone?
When you are at work and/or involved in your service activities, you know that the work to be done is too great for you to carry by yourself. Yes. You have your key role to play. But, you cannot be successful without the contribution of other people. Someone else works behind the scenes to set everything up for your meeting, whether in place or virtually. Especially in this period where many have had to work virtually, you have had to rely on the software companies for programs that facilitated this offsite reality.
There are others who share the load when you are a dad. Family members help. Educators and those who provide extracurricular activities are also involved. You will best know those who are involved in helping so that you do not have to raise your children alone. Involve them with joy. Avoid feeling guilty when you get others to provide your children with activities and nurture. At the same time, be sure that you do not abdicate your responsibilities. Avoid the pendulum swing from doing too much to doing too little.
#3 Teachers and Mentors
Throughout your life, you have had teachers and mentors, both formally and informally. This includes your parents. They taught you the subject matter that you needed to function in society and be gainfully employed. They also taught you what it means to be a human being. Thus, from birth, there were people teaching how to be and how to behave in various situations, both by precept and example. Furthermore, you have had coaches for various activities including sports and work. You may also have had a trainer to help you get into top shape. Of course, you have adapted some of what you learned to suit your own circumstances, personality etc. But, you did not get where you are nor do you function without guides.
As a dad, you need formal and informal teachers, mentors, and coaches. Yes. Not going it alone is about wisdom and knowledge. It is about sharing the load. It is also about getting feedback on how you are doing. You gain clarity on where you are and where you want to go and be as a dad. You get the structure, challenge, and support to move to your next level.
When you don’t go it alone, does that mean that you have given up your role as dad? Does this mean that you have given up all your responsibility? On the contrary, no. You are stronger to be the best dad possible because you have the support, shared roles, and you get feedback, wisdom and guidance.
Why then do you want to go it alone as a dad?